Punch & Judy

Bottler*: Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls welcome and I hope you will enjoy our performance of Punch and Judy. Firstly, let me introduce you to Mr Punch. Mr Punch! [Pause] I’m sorry but perhaps if you were all to call out he’ll hear us and come up to say hello. Mr Punch!
[squeaking noises below]
Did you all hear that? What we’ll have to do is call out and then be very quiet and listen. Sometimes it is very important to be very loud and then very quiet. Ready?
Mr Punch! Now listen …

Punch: [Voice from below.] Rootitootitooit! Who’s there?

Bottler: Mr Punch, come up and say hello to all the people.
[Up pops Mr Punch dancing about clapping and waving.]

Punch: Rootitootitooit! How de do de? How de do de? If you all happy me all happy too. Rootitootitooit!
[Sings to the tune of “He’s a jolly good fellow”]

My name is Punchinello
All dressed in red and yellow
I’m such a jolly fellow
Rootitootitooit!

Hello everybody. Where’s Judy? Have you seen my wife Judy? Judy! Judy!
[Looks from side to side, down at the audience, pauses and then looks up into the sky.]

*Note that in the absence of a bottler the introduction can be simplified and performed by a puppet, such as Joey the clown or Judy or even one created for the purpose.