feel better now. Rootitootitooit! Thats the way to do it! [Dances
about clapping and singing to the tune of For hes a jolly
good fellow again.
a lovely tree to plant? Are you the gardener?
Ketch: No Mr Punch this is not a tree and I am not the gardener. My name is Jack Ketch and I am the hangman. [Punch begins to quiver a bit more] Mr Punch I have been told that you have not been behaving yerself and have broken the law.
Punch: Me? I never touched it.
Ketch: Never touched it? Well Mr Punch I am here to see that you pay for your crimes. You are to be hung by the neck until you are dead, dead, dead! [Hits the playboard to emphasise each word.]
Punch: What three times over?
Ketch: Not three times over, only once will be enough. Mr Punch you are going to suffer.
Punch: Supper, Ive already had my supper.
Ketch: And that'll be your last supper! Mr Punch I wants you to walk up to the gallows, say your sorrys and put your head into this 'ere noose. [Points to the noose hanging before Mr Punch.]
Punch: What like this? [Puts his head above the noose]
Ketch: No not like that Mr Punch. Lower down!
Punch: Like this? [Puts his head below the noose]
Ketch: No, no, no, not like that. Higher up!
Punch: What like this. [Puts it above the noose again.]
Ketch: No, no, no! Thats not the way to do it! In ere. [puts his hand through the noose.]
Punch: Well Ive never been hung before. Phaps you could show me how to do it?
Ketch: Show you how to do it? [To audience.] Shall I show 'im 'ow to do it? I 'spose I'd better else we'll be 'ere all day. You walks up to the gallows like this. [he walks up to where the noose hangs.]You says your sorries [he makes a gesture to the audience.] and you puts your head in the noose like this. [He puts his head through the noose. Punch gives him a hand if necessary.]
Punch: Oh I get the hang of it. Then I do this.[Punch pushes him so that he is left hanging from the gallows with his legs dangling out of the booth.] Thats the way to do it! Rootitootooit! Thats the way to do it!
[While Punch is dancing about being pleased with himself up pops Joey again.]
Joey: Punch what have you done? Youve gone and hung the hangman! [He lifts up Ketch.] Well he was such a wet fellow I spose he needs to be hung out to dry.Wed better get him down before someone finds out. [They both take down the gallows and unattach Ketch from the noose.] Ill fetch something to put him in. [Joey pops down and brings back a coffin.They both grab hold of Ketch and heave Ketch into the coffin with his legs are hanging over the end.] I say Punch either he's a bit long or the coffin's a bit short. Could you pull him your way a bit? [They rearrange Ketch but this time his head hangs over Punch's end.]
Punch: [Pointing.] Joey? [They pull him back the other way. But again his legs hang out the end.]
Joey: I know let's fold him in half. [Joey lifts ketch's legs and folds them over. They both stuff him down into the coffin.] Right Punch you take that end and I'll take this and upsy daisy! [They lift the coffin into the air.] This way Punch! [They start off in Joey's direction.]
Punch: No this way Joey. [Punch pulls the coffin back. There is a bit of toing and throwing until Punch lets go sending Joey falling forwards with the coffin on top of him.]
Punch: That's the way to do it!