It's the way you tell'm

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It's the way you tell'm

Postby CvdC » 20 May 2012, 18:12

Having watched John Styles recently and talking with Peter Battey ( I do hope I've spelt that right) And seeing Mel Mellers the other evening I was thinking what a good idea it would be if some knowledgable person compiled a collection of online quips entertainers use. I know they're oldies but they may still be goodies.
Although I did hear an inveterate entertainer make a wife joke, his wife seems so nice that somehow it just didn't ring true. Poor chap.
I was once chatting to children outside the booth and I shamelessly stole one I heard Chris S use. So now I need more. (not children but old jokes)
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Chris » 20 May 2012, 19:06

I was thinking what a good idea it would be if some knowledgable person compiled a collection of online quips entertainers use.

There must be dozens of such compilations, or rather hundreds, because there must be dozens by Orben alone. They are mainly produced for magicians who lack originality.
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby CvdC » 20 May 2012, 19:30

Originality? Its only unoriginal if you've heard it before and there may well be a whole generation who have not. Any way what's orginality got to do with Punch and Judy?

But I guess magicians are as secretive about the source of their jokes as well as their tricks. But you're right there do seem to be some sites online. Now it's just amatter of finding the ones for a punch show.
But meanwhile:

Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. 
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Chris » 20 May 2012, 21:00

Originality? Its only unoriginal if you've heard it before and there may well be a whole generation who have not.

Utter tosh! Whether you've heard it before or not is nothing to do with it. If you copy, it's copied. If it's copied it isn't original.
It is quite legitimate to copy, that's the way we learn. But the real artisits build on what they have learned, they originate. That is how we, and our art form continue to live. That is what keeps the tradition fresh.

I guess magicians are as secretive about the source of their jokes as well as their tricks. But you're right there do seem to be some sites online. Now it's just a matter of finding the ones for a punch show.

Chris, its nothing to do with secrecy and not all knowledge is online. There is a world outside the computer. The compilations of stock jokes, one liners etc etc have been published in their hundreds over the years, since long before the internet. They used to be advertised in "The Stage" every week, or in "Variety", or "Abra". Val Andrews, Robert Orben and Richard Merry were ones I remember who were of particular interest to magicians. But there were many others, aiming for the hundreds of would be comics. You could also buy sketches and potted pantomimes or best man speeches for weddings.

But you are hardly likely to find many of these on the internet, since they won't all have been digitised. As the internet has grown live entertainment has declined. Gone are the village concerts, variety halls, club cabarets etc and thus there is much less call for such scripts. You have to seek them out through adverts in Call Boy, or searching in second hand book shops.

As for your remark
what's orginality got to do with Punch and Judy?

Oh dear! How anybody can visit the May Fayre over a period of years and ask that just beggars belief.
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Richard Coombs » 20 May 2012, 22:55

For all the bits of Routines , and one liners that I have shamelessly pinched , I like to think I have put in a few new things of my own to balance the 'credit sheet of creativity'.

Here is one that I am jolly sure I have not seen anywhere else -the closest thing I can think of is Rod Burnet , and others, who have Punch pull the Crocs teeth out on the end of the sausages ( which is what set me thinking that Mr P could 'go-in' after the sausages to actually pull them out ..and end up tangled up and doing a bungie jump over the playboard on them )

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This was a few weekends ago ( the really hot one) and was the first time I got to see how he might look finished ---I needed to try him in situ to arrange his limbs and sausages into a pleasing shape .
So here the sausages are just pinned around him , before later getting sewn to his costume and also to his hands and feet.

There is thick rope running through the sausages and terminating strongly inside the body ..this is is the under structure a few days before the first pic was taken.
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Even though I always have flags and bunting to keep children at a safe distance from the front of the booth , the head , hands and feet were cast in a two part soft and flexible foam in case of accidental kiddie-collision.
The Mayfayre was the first time I got to try him out in the full flow of a performance.
The head and hands fared well in use ..but the legs take the full force of the 'bounce' when he is slung over the front of the play board ..and because the foam flexes , the paint cracks -- so I can see now I would be constantly mending and repainting...so I am carving some wooden legs to replace them with.
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Professor Eek » 21 May 2012, 14:27

I'm not sure if I've heard any one use this but if I did nock it and I nicked it from you - "Thank you":

Policeman on first appearance:

"Hello, Hello, Hello - I'm PC99 - They call me that 'cos the paint on me 'ead is starting to flake"
Not everyone gets it but it makes me smile.
==============================
incredibly bad magic and dreadful balloon modelling thrown in for free
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Chris » 21 May 2012, 14:41

Just a thought Richard, you could have light and strong legs without flexing. Cast in expanded polyurethane foam and given a couple of layers of kraft paper, very strong and very light. But the sausage tangled bungey jumping Punch is a lovely idea however you construct it.
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Richard Coombs » 21 May 2012, 15:39

I did realise that the legs were potentially going to be a problem , so did a layer of thin muslin/ pva glue over the bottom half of them... but it has cracked right through that laminated layer.

I was so pushed for time before the Mayfayre finishing everything else ..that carving new legs was not an option...but I knew it would need to be done this week ...and yesterday I made a pair.

Nothing but wood will do , as it really is the point of maximum twang and bounce and torque and stress.

Also to make them by any other method , would be counterproductive in time terms ..as they would not look enough like my actual Mr Punch legs ( or at least to get them to be a good enough copy to fool the eye) ...in the end to get a good copy ( which the moulded ones were too ) doing it the so called 'long' way , turns out to be actually the fastest and best method .

I did at least only lightly sew the trousers around the knee joint , and put the trim on with the tinniest spot of hot glue ..knowing that I would need to undo it all this week.
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Richard Coombs » 21 May 2012, 15:51

Hello Eek ... I like the joke ..nice on several levels :-)

And Chris ..as ever a picture is worth a thousand words :-)

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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Benjie » 21 May 2012, 22:53

Talking of policeman names John Styles calls his PC World! And he's hoping to get promotion to be a Super Nintendo! It was one of the hundreds of gags he had in his brilliant show at the little angel the other week.
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Re: It's the way you tell'm

Postby Chris » 21 May 2012, 23:11

So why publish it on the internet for all the unscrupulous one's to pinch?
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