Punch for the 21st century

[CvdC]

Punch: Hello everybody I'm Mr Punch and I have come up here today to entertain the boys and girls and promote positive environmentally sound entertainment. So before you start clapping just attach those wires to your hands and we'll capture the energy to run the PA in a sustainable way.
Now where is my life partner Judy? Judy! Come up stairs! ... please.
Punch: Say hello to the boys and girls Judy
Judy: Oh Mr. Punch you are so gender specific. Hello people. You see Punch some of the audience may not have chosen their gender as of yet and we wouldn't want to upset them. Would we?
Punch: of course not. Judy where's the baby? Isn't it my turn to take a significant parenting role?
Judy: Quite right. Here you are Mr. Punch.[Fetches the baby.] Now don't be too patriarchal with him(or her). Last time you used the term "daddy". Oh I was cross girls or boys.
Punch: I was just trying to show it that males too can have caring sharing relationships.
Judy: Well Punch here it is. [Gives the baby to Punch].
Punch: Isn't it a beautiful baby! Not that beauty matters. We're all beautiful in our own way. [Punch dances about with the baby which starts to cry.]
Oh what a dear. Crying will help him develop lung capacity. [He starts to throw it up in the air.] That's a good baby. Good baby.
[Suddenly the baby falls out of the booth. Punch looks over and up at the audience.] Oops. Oh dear did you see that? Oh dear boys or girls what have I done? Well it was an accident wasn't it?
[Up pops the constable.]
PC: Hello, hello, hello. What have we here then?
Punch: The baby fell out the window. By accident.
PC: Mr Punch do you know who I am?
Punch: A policeman?
PC: Well more of a community liason officer promoting community respect for each other. And Mr Punch this is not going to look good on your record. We all thought you had turned over a new leaf and had become socially responsible and was now promoting positive values.
Punch: It was an accident. He, or she, slipped out of my hand while I was playing with it.
PC: Playing with it were you? Oh dear. Oh deary me. Your going to have to come with me.
Punch: No. I don't want to.
PC: No? Now Mr. Punch I expect a more cooperative approach than this. I don't want to have to ... force you. What sort of example would that be for the boys or girls.
Punch: But I have the right to non violent protest. [They run around the booth. The constable chasing Punch. ]
Punch: It was an accident. It was an accident.
[Punch ends up popping down below.]
PC: Oh dear. Now girls or boys that Mr Punch will have to get a repremand for this socially irresponsible behaviour. I think he will see the error of his ways after a few days of community serv ...
[Punch suddenly pops back up with a big stick and knocks the PC down.]
Punch: That's the way to do it!

Obviously the above is not swazzled. I was going to feature the devil but thought it may offend the feelings of Satan worshippers, who have a legitimate right to their beliefs. Luckily Joey comes up and after a session of male bonding Punch is again restored to his good self and all the boys or girls give him a big hug. Big hugs all round in fact. Although I would advise the performer not to participate.

[Tony James]

Well done Chris. And no spelling mistakes.

That Australian Shiraz can be quite strong!!!

[Chris]

<center>worshippers, who a a legitimate</center>

I shall look elsewhere for proof reading Tony.

Great fun Chris, but why in the workshop folder? I gather that Australia is catching up with our idiocies - or we both subject to imports from the US?

Actually this bonding and team building business is giving quite a bit of work to magicians and the like.

[CvdC]

Well now that you mention it. I had thought that someone could run stress release workshops by having businessmen perform Punch shows. Trouble is you would need a lot of puppets. So I guess it's only David who could do it.

I think you will find that idiocy is somewhat international. It has to do with the nature of employment. How do you employ an over educated work force productively? Consultants. Why work as a children's entertainer when you can go and give workshops to teachers on how to entertain their students. Or even parents who feel indadequate.